Friday, 4 October 2013

How could you cope

How could you cope
At a time when nothings cool
Going completely crazy
Like some kind of fool
Crying all the time
With very little sleep
As the flashbacks they take over
Turning you into a creep
Never want to see them
Which messes with your head
Oh dear no not again
Feeling like the living dead
Reliving that simple day
When bang goes a bomb
A what you gonna do
As everything goes wrong
As windows smash round you
As people scream in fear
As a mushroom fills the air
Which is so dammed near
Then a deadly silence
But what can you do
As people run in chaos
Along with your mates too
What are you doing
You don't really care
You got to save life's
If anyone's alive there
Digging in the aftermath
Not knowing what you'll find
As others shout around you
Clouding up your mind
Then someone shouts found one
Oh no it's one of our crew
As he went to get us lunch
With someone else too
Yet he wasn't breathing
He was dead at the scene
Now I'm reliving this nightmare
Which is no flipping dream
Then someone shouts found another
As I dig as fast as I can
Not another work man
Now that wasn't the plan
So I dig even deeper
Looking for someone to blame
Yet I'm completely shocked
For life is no game
Then I felt something wet
But couldn't see what it could be
So I dig even harder
Hoping to save someone you see
Then my eyes met something horrible
And I didn't know what to do
Except pull it from the rubble
Now my heads messed up too
With no arm or legs
And blood coming out its eyes
Oh what a nightmare
As I begin to cry

I'm holding a little toddler
Really close to my chest
I can't let it go
My head an absolute mess

Now who could do this
To someone so young
Which has messed up my life
Which is not fun

I can't even hold my own kids
Which is sad to say
But maybe I will get over this
And will hold them someday

So what would you do
In a way that's hard to bare
When your just a civilian
That simply does care

Would you turn to alcohol
And want to give up the fight
Well now it's my turn
To see the bright light

And try to use my art
And poetry I write
To show the world one thing
Good can come out of bad al-right.

For 17 years now I have been having nightmares about holding this child and never had no help to overcome my problems. The reality many people see things and react in many ways. Some by violence, some by drinking and some by taking drugs to block what happened. I was abused as a child but could never tell anyone and after this bomb went off my life changed. I took life into my own hands and punished those who hurt children. I ended up in prison over this but was released after 2 months after charges where dropped.  Many times I have been questioned by authorities for hurting paedophiles but they could never prove anything. I am very proud to be the man I am and believe more people should stand up for our younger generation.