The unbelievable pain,

The unbelievable pain,

We have to go through,

Before we flush the chain,

In a portable lue.

It’s crazy it’s said,

When it’s put on its side,

Which is no bed,

Or rollercoaster ride.

Especially when drunk,

After a good drink,

Which bloody well stunk,

Well that’s what I think.

Or did I have a poo,

That was slightly blue,

Well that could be true,

But it covered me too.

So what did occur,

When I shut that door,

In a world so blur,

Was I on its floor?

And if I was,

I want to know why,

For there’s no cause,

For a person to be fly.

So tell me please,

What happened my friend?

Was I drunk on my knees?

And twisted round the bend.

And if I was,

I want to know why,

For there’s no cause,

For a person to be fly.

By Dr Geebers

“What do you want for Christmas?”

“What do you want for Christmas?”
Santa asked me
As I sat silently
Right upon his knee

One grown man
Or should I say bloke
Completely drunk
Just having a joke

Then I burped suddently
Not a good sign
Being a stupid idiot
While passing the time

Not knowing the security
Was called on me
When I began to choke
And was sick on Santa’s knee

Oh what a state
With a smell so pure
Which stunk out the place
Yet I wasn’t sure

Till I woke up in a cell
Wet completely through
With a banging headache
But what did I do?

I didn’t know
Yet I had a good time
That got more exspensive
With a £100 fine

So please take heed this Christmas
When you have a drink
Don’t do what I did
So please take note and think

Is it really worth it
Being on Santa’s knee
Of course it is people
Just don’t be sick like me